What does a sad Pauline do?

I couldn't shake off Toy Story-induced nostalgia/sadness for about 36 hours so I decided it was time to take drastic measures. I trooped to Rustan's , as per my dad's request, and got this:

Yup, two pints of B&J's ice cream--one in Cherry Garcia and another in New York Super Fudge Chunk. I know I'm supposed to be calorie-counting, but I did share them with my dad and my brother so my moment of weakness wasn't all that bad (Fine, Dad only ate two spoonfuls because of his high blood sugar. Still!) . Haha! I was looking for Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough but they ran out. On a normal day, I wouldn't condone consuming that much just to satisfy my craving for ice cream but crying because Andy left Woody with Bonnie isn't everyday fare either.

I remember that time in Ireland about a year and a half ago with Steph C., Shivs P., Ely Z., Berna A. and Gica M. when some or all of us would troop to the Sentra nearest our hotel and buy Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream almost every day. We'd then hole up in our rooms and gorge on ice cream while watching random shows (I'm not sure but, if I remember correctly, in our room, Shivs and I would always somehow be watching what's on Fox Crime or reruns of The Nanny.). Oh, did I mention we were scarfing down ice cream in the middle of winter? Haha! I was going through a lot then but, somehow, gorging on ice cream while watching Horatio interrogate lowlifes or Fran hitting on her boss made me feel better. It might have been the conversations we had while eating ice cream that brightened me up but, since then, I've thought of ice cream as an antidote to momentary sadness.

So, how did your weekend go?

I spent the entire Saturday morning plowing through the PoS 180.25 readings for the week. I managed to finish Jose Casanova's Secularization, Enlightenment and Modern Religion from Public Religions in the Modern World and Talal Asad's What Might An Anthropology of Secularism Look Like? from Formations of the Secular. I still have the David Herbert selections to read, annotate and reread but it looks like I'll be ready for this week's class. Only about ten students are enrolled in Prof. Raneses' three-hour class (Contemporary Democratic Theory: Interrogating Secularism) so it's impossible to feign knowledge of the readings if you only quickly browsed through them. You will get asked to participate in the discussion at least five times and the length of the class period means a one-liner won't do. He also gives each student a grade per session based on the student's contributions to the discussion and the average of the student's grades per session will constitute 15% of his/her final mark, so you risk a low mark if it becomes painfully clear that , for whatever reason, you didn't carefully go through the readings. I got an A in the last session but I'm really looking forward to the next session because RR devised a cool star-moon-sun-cloud (?) system of grading. Haha!

I went to Gateway a little after lunch to pick up a stick of tea tree concealer from Body Shop then headed back to Katipunan to meet up with Shivs Parmanand at Seattle's Best. I hadn't had SB's chocolate milkshake in a while, so I decided to abandon my 1500 kcal diet (not self-imposed, mind you--my orthopedist says I have to maintain my weight or lose a couple of pounds so that my back stops giving me trouble) and ask for extra ice cream. In SB, the only drink I'm comfortable getting is the chocolate milkshake. I've gotten so used to Starbucks to bother trying anything else. We both lamented the fact that Seattle's and Kenny Rogers now share space (Their counters are only maybe ten meters apart). SB is the go-to of students who need to study or write papers when Starbucks gets too crowded. However, Kenny Rogers is frequented by families from the Xavierville area and rowdy students celebrating after grueling long tests, so the new arrangement makes it impossible to study/have a proper conversation unless you managed to nab a table far from the Kenny Rogers counter. Thankfully, because of the rain, there weren't a lot of people when Shivs and I got there.

I updated Shivs on my weird schedule and she told me about some of the more hilarious things that happened to her in the past week. Important realization: Never think everything's peachy and nothing can faze you--something's bound to surprise you and make you realize you haven't seen it all! Haha! Shivs is leaving for Auckland this week and the run-up to the trip has been quite exhausting for her, I think, so she deserved her coffee.

I had to leave at around 9:30 because my dad called to say he was on his way to Katipunan from the airport and I promised him we could have a late dinner together. On my way to Xanland, something really weird happened--but that's for another entry, and one I'm not going to write anytime in the near future.

Sunday was a bit more hectic. I had lunch with family and family friends who were in town then met up for coffee with Vic Baguilat. Vic Baguilat had a strawberry milkshake while I decided to experiment (gasp) and order a mocha cappuccino. I regretted my choice, though, when I saw how much Vic was enjoying his milkshake. He realized a bit too late, however, that he's lactose-intolerant. Whoops. We had fun catching up and sizing up random people in the vicinity. Haha! I had to leave a little past 6 though because the family decided to have dinner with Tita Rose Napao and her daughter, Yvonne. Oh, before I forget, congratulations to Vic for getting his own place in Taft! Housewarming party? Haha!

All in all, I had a pretty relaxed weekend. I have a bad feeling the next two weekends (at least) won't be as mellow. Oh well.

CotDs

I was running late to meet Dianna Yap and Gio Mauleon in school but stopped in my tracks when I saw Karl Libongco just as I was rushing out of my condominium building's lobby. From afar, he looked like Gio so I briefly wondered if Dianna had anticipated my tardiness and had Gio pass by for me. But, when he turned to wave at me, Karl's posture was so distinct that I could have had my contact lenses off and still be sure it was him.

Karl has a very...relaxed and leisurely way of moving. It's hard to describe Karl's carriage accurately, but he always gives off the vibe that he has all the time in the world--but not in a lazy, I-have-nothing-better-to-do way. Karl has a way of moving that makes you think everything he does is so instinctive that, when he focuses his attention on you, it's as if he deliberately and painstakingly rearranged his body to accommodate you. I noticed that when we first met and, when I voiced out my observation a year later, Faith Sta. Ana et al agreed. When he talks to someone, Karl turns to face the person very slowly, his upper body sort of leans away from the person (giving the impression that he's studying the person) and he has a look of carefree absorption on his face, as if he's weighing your every word but couldn't care less if you get something wrong.

I made that observation during the SOSS Night of our OrSem. I wasn't really into the bands playing and it was so crowded so I spent most of the night with him, Andre Co, Kevin Santiago, Faith S.A., Rootbeer Napiza, Bojie Bartolata and Randhel Laurente on the floor of the covered courts, drowning our sorrows in...mineral water. Haha!

Me, RBeer, Dhel and Karl (June 2006)

See how relaxed Karl seems?

Karl and Andre (June 2006)

I miss hanging out with Andre, Faith and Gina Tumlos. Andre (whose shirt in the picture reads 'Tough Enough to Wear Pink') left after freshman year to become a successful DJ (who has odd fan girls, apparently) and business major at the Entrepreneurial School of Asia. He had weird hair back then and I called him Coco (His family name's Co. He called me Gaga.). I spent most of freshman year (when I wasn't in debate training) with him. He'd drive me and Gina to and from school--even if we could've just walked. I have to schedule dinner with him and the girls soon.

Anyway, Karl and I talked for a bit and I laughed at some of his responses (non-verbatim):

Me: Karl! What are you doing here??

Karl: Bum ako! (shrugs with his signature easy smile)

Karl: Grabe, super proud mo kay Rootbeer!

Me: Of course. I mean, she's really determined to do things her way and I know a lot of people used to think Rootbeer's indecisive. In that way, I kinda thought pareho kami. But, well, now,she's showing them! Self-confidence boost!

Karl: Oo nga eh, picture niya kasama si Robin Padilla, pinost mo sa Wall mo!

Me: We all go through a wild-child phase.

Karl: Kakaiba naman yung wild-child phase mo, eh!

Of course, when I finally met up with them at the library, on our way to the caf, Gio had to have his share of CotDs (Like QotDs but C stands for Conversations. Haha!) too:

Me: (teasingly) Naku, hindi ka na nga nag-gym kasi tamad ka tapos kakain ka pa!

Gio: Iinom na lang ako ng pangpa-buff!

Me: (to Dianna) Para-paraan talaga, noh?

Gio: Once, uminom ako ng pangpa-buff tapos nakalagay bawal to take it with alcohol. Hindi ako naniwala. One week akong nagkasakit!

Me: (incredulous) And you're still going to take them??

Gio: Dati, sobrang buff na nga ako! Tapos pumayat kasi nga nagkasakit ako ng one week!

Me: Grabeng one week naman yun! What were you sick with--dengue??

Me: Hmm, so maybe I should go to the Coheed and Cambria concert na lang, noh?

Gio: Why?? Are you into emo music?? You're going to pay to listen to emo music??

Me: Well, it's open bar.

Gio: Huh. Niiice motivation.

All in all, I had a mellow Friday. My parents didn't want me venturing too far from Katipunan because the rain wouldn't let up so I decided to stay in and watch Friends all night. I've been needing a bit of alone time and I slept like a baby! Today, I'm having lunch with Victor Baguilat then coffee with Shivs Parmanand. My dad's arriving tonight so we're probably going to eat out for dinner and get a bit of shopping done, then I might catch up with Vic et al in Makati. I'm going to lock myself up tomorrow to wade through (a ton of) readings and do my International Eco case study, so I want to just take it easy today and not do anything too taxing.

The Fall of Icarus

In Philosophy today, Prof. JC Uy asked us if we've ever come across Pieter Breughel The Elder's The Fall of Icarus. In high school, after reading William Carlos William's Landscape with The Fall of Icarus, I looked up Breughel's piece and something about it made me feel sad. I couldn't quite articulate why the painting triggered such a feeling of desolation in me (Prior to that, the only other paintings that moved me were Vincent Van Gogh's Wheatfield with Crows and Edgar Degas' Absinthe Drinker--and neither painting made me quite as sad.) . It wasn't because the subject of the painting was inherently sad--there was no depiction of how he had fallen; the painting only showed Icarus' lower legs. I guess it was the fact that such a tragic event seemed to not have been noticed by the others characters in the painting.

Today, Prof. Uy read W.H. Auden's Musee des Beaux Arts, another poem on Breughel's piece, in class. The poem perfectly summed up how I felt the first time I came across the painting:

Landscape with the Fall of Icarus, c. 1558

Pieter Breughel the Elder,

Musee Royaux des Beaux-Arts de Belgique, Brussels

Musée des Beaux Arts (W.H. Auden)

About suffering they were never wrong, The Old Masters; how well, they understood Its human position; how it takes place While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along; How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting For the miraculous birth, there always must be Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating On a pond at the edge of the wood: They never forgot That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer's horse Scratches its innocent behind on a tree. In Breughel's Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry, But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky, had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.

Putocopy and Letters to Juliet

After a two hour-long graphing/gabbing session for International Economics in the library, I met up with Thea Guanzon in Eastwood to watch Letters to Juliet. I arrived a little past noon and the next screening was at 3 PM so we had close to three hours to spare. Since she hadn't had lunch yet, we headed to Jack's Loft. Thea had baked potato soup (I expressly advised her against it because, for me at least, baked potato in a form other than, well, baked potato is just too weird. It would be like eating a bowl of sour cream with maybe a few chunks of potato thrown in. But Thei says it was good so I guess my tastes are just too primitive.) and we shared a plate of fried mozarella sticks. As usual, we had the weirdest conversations (Too weird to post here, yes. Haha!). How we managed to finish our food, given how much talking we were doing, is beyond me.

We headed up to the cinema to buy our tickets after lunch (Thank you, Citibank!) and, while waiting in line, sang songs from Glee out loud. It's a wonder they didn't ask us to leave the premises--people were openly staring at us! I sounded like a sick cat singing Rachel's part in Faithfully but I figured noone I know would be watching a movie on an early Tuesday afternoon, so we regaled everyone within a three-kilometer radius with our warbly version of Total Eclipse of the Heart. I think the lady at the counter was seriously considering not selling us tickets. Haha!

While waiting for the cinema doors to open, we checked out an art exhibit beside the concessionaire and I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this:

Yes, I know it's an old joke. That doesn't make it any less hilarious though--especially on a painting. :))

Letters to Juliet was okay. We obviously didn't watch it because we thought it would be a cinematic masterpiece. We needed something easy to digest, preferably one with a cheesy, easy-to-follow plot and predictable characters. Of course, the fact that Chris Egan's in it was a plus. It was just really too funny though when, while Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) was in deep thought, Taylor Swift's Love Story began to play. I know the song's apt, given the allusions to Romeo and Juliet's tragic love affair in the movie; but it just ruined the mood and made us go, "What just happened? She's emotional and contemplating leaving her fiancee--and they decided to play a semi-upbeat Taylor Swift pop song??" . And the 'twist' in the end (if you could even call it that) which involved Charlie (Chris Egan) explaining that the Patricia he had with him at the wedding was, in fact, his cousin, left me laughing even harder.

All in all, it wasn't so bad spending a Tuesday afternoon watching it, especially since, when I got to Eastwood, I had images of graphs and pie charts swimming in my head. Chris Egan in a tailored suit ( and the Puto-Putocopy painting) blew that all away. Haha!

Tarsy and Crabby Adventures, Chapter 1

I went to visit Rootbeer Napiza at the ABSCBN compound last weekend because I've missed her sooo much (We needed gab time!) and we decided to squeeze in lunch before getting caught up in everything we had to do (backlogged editing for her and preparations for the week ahead + an essay for me). We had been intending to meet up for weeks but cancelled our plans twice because she had to deal with some things at work and one of my closest high school friends flew in at the last minute. And, no, RB wasn't in ABSCBN for a Goin' Bulilit (Apparently, that's this generation's equivalent to Ang TV) shooting. Haha! She's all grown-up and a writer now. AND, at the same time, she's in law school. Yes, we're very proud of her and I'm a "stage friend". Haha!

RB took pictures over lunch at Grams! Porkchops + pancakes + vanilla milkshake + weird carrot-mushroom-onion soup + coffee = diner love, baby!

(I'll be writing about my visit in another entry. Hilarious conversations galore.)

I ♥ Grams! I'm a sucker for old diner-themed places. Bright lights, colorful booths, uncomplicated feel-good food--what's not to love? At Grams, I always end up having either pancakes or pork chops. I ordered pork chops this time, with soup and coffee.

RB and her vanilla milkshake! I wanted a milkshake too. :( But I had to restrain myself. RB doesn't need to worry about carbs. She has such a thin, sexy frame that gaining weight is never a problem for her. :|

I think everyone now gets why RB calls me Tarsy. :))

Happy, contented, fulfilled Ms. I-Want-It-All Napiza. ♥

"Parurusahan kita sa ngalan ng buwan!"
"Fighting crime, trying to save the world! Here they come just in time! The Powerpuff Girls! Powerpuff!"

Yeah, we're retarded. :|

Tarsy and Crabby

In the morning, happiness is a good sandwich.

I'd been running low on anti-bacterial wipes so I went to Rustan's Katipunan after lunch to restock. I was in such a hurry that I didn't notice, until I decided to look for wheat bread , that a new section, Gourmet to Go, had just opened. Apparently, Rustan's Katipunan now offers sandwiches and salads for take-out! And they have a wide selection too!

My maid wakes up at 6 AM so, when I have to head out early, I no longer have time to wait for her to prepare breakfast. There aren't a lot of breakfast offerings in Ateneo at 7 AM so I have to make do with cookies from AMPC or hope I have enough coins in my purse to get crackers from the vendo machine. These days, given my schedule, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have no time to get lunch either so I have to pass by JSEC to pick up a sandwich on my way home if it isn't close to dinnertime yet because I don't want to pass out from hunger. Thanks to Gourmet to Go, I can just walk to Rustan's in the morning, choose from any of their delectable sandwiches and salads before walking to school!

I ordered their smoked salmon sandwich and their apple and walnut salad with curried mayo. I couldn't finish the sandwich because it was too big for me (I must remember to have them slice it in half if I'm bringing it to school so that I don't have to gobble the entire thing up in one sitting) but the salad was really good so it didn't take me long to finish it.

Good job, Rustan's Katips! :D

Major LSS!

I heard Knock You Down by Keri Hilson ft. Ne-Yo and Kanye while going around NBS and I can't stop singing it! :))

Sometimes, love comes around

It knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down

The Reasonability of Unreasonability

Ken Abante, one of nicest people I know (I swear, the guy's a walking ray of sunshine. He has a ready smile for everyone and has a heart as big as all outdoors. The day Ken isn't optimistic about the state of the world is the day we should all come to terms with the fact that the human race is doomed and cry ourselves to sleep. Haha.), wrote this a while back (I was reading What Is The Point of Being a Christian? by Tim Radcliffe for my Theology class under Prof. Rosana and I was reminded of this):

Christianity is unreasonable because it begs you to believe in something that you don't understand -- a God which cannot be described or explained. This statement makes sense: why would you believe in something that you cannot comprehend?

But if you think about it, it's the only reasonable thing to believe in. Why would you believe in a God which you can totally box in, limit into and level with the realms of limited, imperfect human reason? That would make the all-powerful God, imperfect.

The complexity and incomprehensibility of God is therefore a tenacious proof of His existence, and is not at all contradictory to His Power.

-----

I can never claim to be religious but I admire people who are, for as long as they don't try to impose their beliefs on others. It takes a lot to cling to something so intangible, especially when you have skeptics like me who privilege logic above all else. What I've always appreciated about Jesuit education is its attempt to reconcile reason and faith. In some cases, it's not apparent or effective but it's a relief to know that a blind adherence to Christianity is not required of me despite my choice of university and background.

The heat won't kill me now.

It's been excruciatingly warm the past week. It rains at night, so I at least don't have to worry about being unable to sleep--but that doesn't make the fact that my skin's been drying up and my lips have been chapping any easier to deal with. I've taken to carrying around three essential products that I'd recommend to those going through hell right now too because of the heat:

1. Vanilla and Company's Pure Shea and Cocoa Butter Organic Whipped Buttercream

A friend gave me this and I remembered coming across this when it was lauded in Meg magazine's Best Beauty Products feature . I looked it up online and I couldn't find even a single bad review so I decided to use it. After all, shea butter has soothing, restorative and regenerative properties and cocoa butter, being an effective moisturizer, provides relief for dry skin. After merely a week of using it, I've decided to abandon my Royal Jelly and Pure Honey Moisturizing Lotion from Marks and Spencer. Vanilla and Company's Pure Shea and Cocoa Butter Organic Whipped Buttercream comes in a variety of (really, really, really) yummy scents (They have Marshmallows and Hot Fudge, Frappuccino, Peppermint Bars, Lemon Meringue, Olives and Vanilla and Strawberry Cheesecake among many, many others) and everything they put into it is organic. Because Vanilla and Company is a small enterprise, everything's meticulously mixed by hand and you can have scents, packaging and sizes customized.

I got mine in Vanilla Vanilla and I love their fragrant blend of Tahitian and Mexican vanilla. I lather it on (sometimes in very liberal amounts because the scent and the way it makes my skin feel is really difficult to resist) after showering and, even after an entire day of running around,the scent's still there. Best of all, my skin's soft and moisturized the entire day. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I apply small amounts of it on my palms (I wash my hands a lot) and, when I'm in shorts and it's really agonizingly warm, I do a quick run to the bathroom and put a bit more on early in the afternoon. I don't really have to because it does an excellent job of preventing my skin from going dry but I don't like thinking the heat's turning my skin into sandpaper. :| I don't have the best skin out there so I have to at least keep it tolerable!

2.) Mentholatum Lip Ice in Grape Blackcurrant

Steph Co introduced me to Lip Ice years ago but I've been using Body Shop's raspberry lip balm since high school and I never saw the need to use anything else permanently. My lips chap a lot (and I bite off the flaking skin, so my lips end up bleeding) so I never leave the house without at least two pots of Body Shop's Born Lippy balm. I have a few tubes of Smackers and Nivea (in dark cherry) and a tin of Smith's Rosebud Salve in my vanity drawer, any one of which I throw into my purse when I'm running low on Body Shop's Born Lippy (which happens very rarely) or when I'm in a hurry and I'm not sure I transferred my pots into the purse I'm using (In the case of Nivea though, I bring it along when I think my lips need to be a bit darker. Body Shop's balm is tinted but the color doesn't last long and it's really light. I don't use lipstick, unless I'm going to a formal event.)--but I've been loyal to Body Shop since I grew out of Chapstick.

Occasionally, I ask friends from/heading to Singapore or Hongkong to get me Lip Ice when I know I have a trip to a non-tropical country coming up (Lip Ice is more resistant to cold that Body Shop's balm, as Carlo Cabrera made me realize in Ireland) but I've never used it for longer than a month or two. I discovered an old tube a few months ago when I was fixing my vanity drawer and my Body Shop pot sort of 'melted' (I left it beside my laptop and the heat made the balm all sticky. I had to refrigerate it.). I realized it works well in warm weather (In fact, the minty feel it leaves makes it ideal for tropical climes) so I felt bad when I used it all up. Thankfully, we went to Singapore a week later so I bought a couple. It moisturizes more intensively than Body Shop's lip balm and I don't have to use my pinkie anymore (and, if I misplace it because I put on balm every half-hour or so and sometimes forget to throw it back into my bag, I won't feel so bad because it's not as pricey as Kiehl's). The minty feel's strong and helps me feel the heat less. Most people prefer it in lemon but I love their grape blackcurrant variant best.

3. Vanilla and Company's Witch Hazel Tonic

The picture doesn't want to load. Anyway, I know most people prefer using Evian's Mineral Water spray, but I never saw the sense in blowing 15 USD (It's pricier in the Philippines because it's harder to find) for, well, water. I've never been a facial spray user but, like I said, I've never had to deal with heat like this on a daily basis so I had to find something. I came across this when I was trying to find locally available facial sprays (Vanilla and Company's getting really popular and I read nothing but raves about this product.) and my friend bought it for me along with the organic body butter. Its primary ingredients are witch hazel water, tea tree oil and Vitamin C extracts. That's definitely better than water.

Witch hazel prevents and cures skin inflammations, tea tree oil is antibacterial and protects from dust and pollution and Vitamin C promotes collagen restoration. And it's not BS too! I broke out a bit two weeks ago and it saved me from ugly scars. It has a hint of eucalyptus too so it leaves my face feeling really cool and refreshed despite the heat. You can use it as a toner too. I spritz it on my face (and even on my arms) at least three times a day, even when I have make-up on (It doesn't ruin make-up. In fact, it helps it stay on longer.). Of the three products on the list, this has to be my favorite.

I could really use a wish right now.

In the past month or so, I've been whining about "needing" three things: 1.a new pair of bronze/chocolate/dark gold metallic flats, 2. a clutch or purse in an eye-catching color (preferably cherry-red or raspberry) and 3. a white dress casual enough to wear to an intimate dinner with friends when paired with flats but still sophisticated enough to attend a garden wedding in, once the dreaded stilettos are brought out. I was on the prowl for all three in Singapore but came home disappointed (Not really. I snagged pretty leopard print flats and red gladiator sandals from Hue in the Raffles City Shopping Center on our first day there alone. Still, I didn't find anything I liked that would allow me to cross off even at least one of the three, so. Haha. ).

I've been looking at various websites, thinking maybe I'd find them online but I wasn't getting anywhere either. I just couldn't find a pair of flats/purse/white dress that 1. fit my requirements; and 2. reallyreally appealed to me. Just out of curiosity, an hour ago, I did a cursory check of Chanel's website. As luck would have it, I found all three there--but I don't think I'm willing (or potentially even able, given how much I spent this summer) to purchase any one of them unless my parents fork over serious moolah (and I'm not even going to think of asking because I'm going to be asking a lot from them in the next couple of months, given the events and trips I have lined up). :( Sigh. Well, I can always hope and pray they somehow come across any (or all!) three and decide they have a dutiful daughter who desperately needs a pair of flats and/or purse and/or white dress. Haha.

Anyway, look:

I like the fact that it's cap-toed, as many of Chanel's ballet flats are, but that the only thing that gives that away is the barely visible stitching. I normally prefer heel-less flats but, in this case, it doesn't bother me because the elegant suede it's made of makes it clear it's not worn with shorts and a random shirt but, rather, with ensembles that normally require kitten heels. The color's just gorgeous too (and exactly what I had in mind).

I came across two purses that fit my ideal just right:

This is Chanel's classic quilted bag in chevron jersey from their 2010 summer-spring pre-collection selections. It's sure to spice up any of my numerous black outfits. Its cherry red hue just...pops. After longingly gazing at it for about ten minutes, I realized the material might be too casual so I looked around some more and came across this:

Their quilted clutch in fuschia lambskin is perfect! It's in a beautiful color and the fact that it's lambskin guarantees it's semi-formal dinner-worthy.

Lastly, I found the white dress I've been looking for:

I don't think I need to say much about this silk taffeta wonder because it's just absolutely perfect. The subdued neckline and the cap sleeves ensure it's something I can wear with the pewter leather-and-snakeskin pumps I recently bought but haven't worn should my parents drag me to dinner with their friends but the length makes it youthful and flirty, which means I can put on flats and have coffee with my friends after. And Chanel used white tafetta that isn't too shiny and doesn't make the wearer look like a wedding cake. Also, the velvet lambskin camellias on the waist are just adorable.

Sigh. I either have to wait for Christmas to roll around or find alternatives. And soon. Or I'll be lusting after these for months.

And crash it did

I remember the day this picture was taken about three years ago. That day, I kept thinking everything was as close to perfect as possible.

There really comes a point in our lives when we think we have it all, when we feel like we're riding a wave that will never crash.

But the craggy shore's never too far away.

I guess I'm thankful I jumped off the board before the waves died against the rocks.

100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die - Part 1

Before I croak and await judgment at the Pearly Gates (Hopefully, that's still many, many years away), I want to...

1. ...buy a tiny lakeside stone-and-rosewood cottage in the middle of nowhere and spend a few months there alone. No internet connection, cellphone network signal or postal service. I want to go swimming at the crack of dawn, cook my own meals from scratch, lounge around all day in loose shirts and sweatpants, set-up an old typewriter on the patio and write till it gets dark, go fishing every other day and learn how to sew.

2. ...throw a huge, extravagant masked ball ala Truman Capote's Black and White Ball, only more luxurious. I want all my friends and the country's most intriguing personalities in attendance. The finest champagne and pastries (I was gonna say caviar but I never quite learned to appreciate caviar), a huge orchestra, sky dancers dangling from the chandeliers, red velvet private tents lining the hall, obnoxiously huge flower arrangements and dim lighting.

3. ...fall in love with the right person. And make it last.

4. ...go skydiving.

5. ...bake a cake. From scratch. On my own.

6. ...do a Philippine version of A History of the World in 100 Objects. AHotW is a BBC podcast series which features one object per podcast that tells us something about the roots and development of modern civilization. They don't just describe the objects the way encyclopedias do. They explore different ways of studying the objects (In the first podcast, they examined the spices used in the preservation of one mummy and ventured that studying them could be used to map ancient trading routes) and what they indicate about how man came to be. I want to pick and study 100 objects relevant to our history and analyze what they tell us about the development of the Filipino identity.

7. ...take a year off to travel. Berlin, Canberra, Sao Paolo, Athens, Padova, Geneva, Dublin, Amsterdam...I just want to travel without having to think about what I need to catch up on when I get back.

8. ...stay in bed for a week, only getting up to shower and use the bathroom. I just want to watch TV, read or surf the net all week, when I'm not asleep.

9. ...learn how to paint well. I paint (and taught my little sister how to, so, yes, I'm not as artistically-crippled as people expect) but I've never done anything exhibit-worthy.

10. ...plan a wedding. Not necessarily mine. I just want an excuse to design beautiful invitations on exquisite paper, commission an eleven-tiered white chocolate-on-dark chocolate monstrosity and sketch a frothy white gown. It's nice to fantasize about The Big Day but what happens the morning after (and the morning after that and the morning after that...) isn't something I'm especially looking forward to, so I'm relying on my friends who intend to get married to indulge this desire of mine. Haha.

11. ...master French, Spanish, Mandarin and Bahasa.

12. ...volunteer for a humanitarian mission in Africa (or somewhere else far away).I know it sounds so cliche, but I've always wanted to go soul-searching (being far away from home allows you that) while still being productive. I went on a soul-searching trip once but I was lethargic and barely functional half the time so that doesn't count.

13. ...read Noli Me Tangere in its original.

14. ...go on a real camping trip. Pitching a lined tent in the garden with Manong Guard setting up the electric grill and the nanny laying out sleeping beds and pillows inside the tent does not constitute camping!

15. ...study abroad. And I don't mean taking a three-month course. I want to take a masters degree or a second degree abroad sometime.

16. ...fly to Paris on a whim with someone special. We might not end up together, but at least I can say I threw caution to the wind and, for a sweet,short time, became impulsive in the name of love. Haha.

17. ...cut my hair really short. My hair's just a little below my shoulder blades now but I've always wanted a cute, chic bob. However, I don't have the facial structure for it. One day, when my face is all sharp angles, I'll get my hair styled into a bob.

18. ...have a cocktail named after me. And, no, I don't mean something like that random, forgotten-the-next-day mix some friends named after me once when they were all tipsy and incoherent. I want something that'll appear on a bar's drinks list. Haha!

19. ...make my own tomato salsa/guacamole dip from scratch. I love dips. I like going to the dips section of Rustan's but it's sad having to rely on just-add-water mixes. I tried making salsa once but it turned out too salty. The best salsa I've ever tasted's the one Dani De Castro makes and the best guacamole I had was at Auntie Mame Araneta's house years ago.

20. ..cheat on someone. I'll probably never do this though. I know everyone says it's so easy, but I just can't imagine myself committing to someone then cheating on him. I'm a temperamental bitch, yes, but I don't believe in playing with hearts. I only included this in the list because a friend recently told me that when you've been with someone for a really long time, cheating on him/her feels uniquely liberating, as long as you make sure the person you're cheating on him/her with doesn't hang around. Erm, I hope no one I have dated/am going to date in the future gets to read this (I'll settle for the latter though. Haha)!

A hilarious abbreviated Facebook "conversation" with Loris Villar and Rootbeer Napiza

Loris Marriel Villar Dude, parang harry potter spells ung latin phrases no? Parang incantations. Haha!

Saturday at 6:38pm via Facebook for iPhone · Comment · · See Wall-to-Wall

You, Loris Marriel Villar and Faith Sta. Ana like this.

Rootbeer Napiza

Verba legis non est recedendum!!! *KASHINGSHING!* hahahaha! cute no!!! :)))

Saturday at 6:53pm

Loris Marriel Villar

Galing nga e! Narealize ko lang habang nireread out loud ko. Makahanap nga ng wand.. Brb, off to diagon alley! Haha

Saturday at 6:59pm

Pauline Marie Roque Gairanod

OMG I LIKE THIS EXCHANGE :))

Saturday at 8:34pm ·

Loris Marriel Villar

wanna come to diagon alley with me? haha!! Lezzgo!

Ex proprio vigore! *poof*

Sunday at 2:10pm

Pauline Marie Roque Gairanod

if draco malfoy breaks up with pansy parkinson,count me in! i'm gonna levitate his soul. ;))))

Sunday at 4:53pm ·

Pauline Marie Roque Gairanod

make that, "i'll make him levitate like he's never levitated before!" ;))))

Sunday at 4:54pm ·

Planning isn't everything (in dating, at least).

After two cups of tea and the latest episode of Glee (Oh, Jesse St. James, you broke my heart.), at around 1 AM, I finally drifted off to sleep. Barely fifteen minutes into REM, a friend with sleeping habits worse than mine called up, presumably to inquire about my well-being. I was barely responding but he knew, as all my friends do, that I wouldn't have the heart to put the phone down (I'm given to thinking that people who call at ungodly hours must have urgent concerns that can't wait till morning and it would be rude not to pick up. Of course, half the time, it's nothing important, but I never seem to learn.) so, after realizing I wasn't about to update him on my life at 1:30 AM, he revealed the reason behind the call: After a year of dithering, he finally asked out the girl he's had a crush on since he hit puberty. The catch: He wants their first date to be memorable--but he hasn't been on a date in three years and thinks hitting an ice cream joint is okay enough (I'm not kidding. He suggested taking her to Pialetti's, a quaint fried ice cream place in Zamboanga.).

Though I think planning a date (beyond knowing the cinema schedule ahead) is cheesy, because I love him, I told him to make reservations at Tropics, my favorite restaurant in the city, and came up with a tentative date plan: dinner, dessert at the newly-renovated wing of Lantaka, a late-night stroll around Paseo (It's a seaside strip lined with outdoor cafes in a quiet part of Zamboanga. The beach, colorful street lamps, reggae music (or what passes for it)--what girl wouldn't be thrilled?) and, if all goes well and the girl's open to prolonging the agony date, coffee at that knickerbocker place on the far end of the strip.

Our conversation got me reminiscing. I thought of the most fun dates I've been on and I realized that they were barely planned. They were fun because they were spontaneous. Maybe plans I didn't know of were in place, but we ended up deviating from them and the spontaneity made the two dates that quickly came to mind (and, well, the guys) memorable. I might no longer be attached to the guys I went on those dates with, but I will always be thankful for the nice time I had and, in the end, since we're all just experimenting anyway, that's the most we can be grateful for.

One afternoon, the guy I was with had to visit The Money Museum in the Bangko Sentral compound for class and asked me to come along because I had a sore throat and was thinking of ditching one round of debate training I had committed to (Erm. Hehe.) . The plan was to head to the Roxas Boulevard complex, quickly go around the museum, head back to school for the later training rounds then have dinner together somewhere in Katipunan.

We got to the complex past museum hours and, on our way back to Ateneo, saw posters advertising the showing of selected indie movies in the CCP theater. We made a split-second decision to abandon our remaining commitments for the day, head to the CCP theater and catch a movie. Thinking we'd be occupied for the next two hours or so, he sent his driver home. We got so amused looking at the exhibits for each film, laughing about the movie posters and going around CCP that we didn't realize the afternoon screenings had begun. We either had to go in twenty minutes into the two movies showing for the day or wait two hours for the next screening. Neither of us were willing to wait so he decided to call his driver to come and pick us up.

As luck would have it, as we exited the theater, we realized both our cellphones had run out of battery. We circled the perimeter of the theater until we found a pay phone. We had nowhere to break down our bills so we had to empty my purse to find coins. It was hilarious, showing him the contents of my purse ("How can that handbag contain so much??" "Receipt 'to for what??" "So this is what you do in class, huh?" "Close your eyes. I carry around an emergency sanitary pad!"). We came up with about six pesos in change, which meant we had to relay our instructions to his driver in about a minute and a half. Then he realized he wasn't sure of the last few digits of his driver's number (and, with six bucks, we couldn't exactly risk dialing a wrong number) so, after a few minutes of hysterical laughter, we decided he'd call his house and ask the maid to call his driver. When we finally saw the payphone up close, we realized neither of us knew how to use it ( We tried deciphering the faded instructions on the side panel. It was a grimy, dusty payphone with gum wedged on the sides of the booth; we weren't exactly eager to get too close.). We finally worked it out and made the call, laughing the whole time. Imagine our surprise when we went to the parking lot and found out his driver was waiting for us all along!

We'd blown off most of the afternoon anyway so we headed to his house where he made me watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Imagine me trying not to cringe at the sight of bloodied fangs and various sharp instruments in Sarah Michelle Gellar's hands. I had my revenge though--I laughed at his baby pictures.). We had dinner and cupcakes (or was it donuts? See, I can't remember what we ate but I will always remember what made the date fun.) and I went home happy.

I didn't have high hopes when I was preparing for the second date that came to mind when I was reminiscing. I didn't think the guy I was going to go out with could surprise me (I was glad to be proven wrong, of course). I was leaving for Zamboanga to spend the sem break there and, since we wouldn't be seeing each other for close to three weeks, he asked me out. We watched a Spanish film the week before and figured we'd watch an Italian film in Shangri-la this time then have dinner nearby.

It didn't start out well. It was raining and the cardigan I was wearing didn't do anything to stave off the cold. The movie was boring but I didn't want to say anything because he seemed to be enjoying it. Halfway through the movie, to my relief, he admitted he wasn't enjoying so we decided to head out early. Probably because of the dreadful weather forecasts, most of the restaurants in Shang were already closed, so we went to Eastwood. The plan was to find a nice, quiet restaurant so we could talk. However, as we were about to head into the mall, a group of waiters started dancing in front of us. I couldn't stop laughing in surprise at the sight of aproned guys dancing YMCA with gusto. Turns out, Johnny Rockets had just opened and dancing to old hits is part of the waiters' job description. We decided we had to eat there (I mean, come on, a neon-lighted diner with gleaming white booths and waiters who dance every half-hour or so--who could resist?).

As we waited for our food to arrive, we realized what the miniature jukeboxes on the tables were for. If you drop a five-peso coin into the small jukebox, you could choose what song would be playing on the PA system. He had a few twenty-peso bills changed and we ended up playing a weird version of Name That Song. We randomly alternated between trying to see who could guess the title of the song playing first and who could sing along the longest without getting the lyrics wrong (It was mostly him playing and 'winning' but I didn't mind because it was a relief to see him loosen up. He was always the perfect gentleman and I was charmed by how courteous he was, but I found it difficult to relax around him.).

After dinner, he took me home and handed me a journal he picked out for me earlier in the day. He knew of my journal-writing habit and thought I could write on it in the three weeks I'd be gone and, hopefully, even after. I said goodbye when we got to Xanland and was just about to get into the shower when I saw the note he had written hurriedly on the first page of the journal. The note was sweet and rather surprising so I sent him a thank-you text, regretting that I didn't properly get to say goodbye. To my surprise, despite the fact that he was nearing home, he drove back to Katipunan. We walked to 7-11, bought ice cream (which I forced him to eat a bit more of every five minutes, not knowing he was lactose-intolerant, whoops), headed up to the condo and played Twenty Questions (We were going beyond twenty but we weren't keen on keeping count) until three in the morning, after which I realized I wouldn't be waking up in time for my flight if we went on any longer.

I realized two things on the subject of dating: 1. I should call my friend and tell him he can plan their first date down to the tiniest detail, but he shouldn't be afraid to deviate from the game plan. If, all of a sudden, they spot a bowling alley on their way to dinner and bowling suddenly appeals to her or she decides she wants to eat at a roadside satti joint, he should just relax and go along. And 2. Often, the planned details will turn out to be insignificant in the long run. Chances are, when you look back, you won't remember what you had to eat or how the movie went (in some cases, you won't even remember how you ended up dating the guy)--you'll remember the odd little mishaps that made you laugh, the detours that made for interesting conversations. Things might not end well between you and the guy; or he might be the one person you will always regret not working things out with. You might just lose interest a few months into dating him; or you might realize you have a hopeless pas de sparks situation going on--but, for a couple of hours, you found happiness or, at the very least, amusement in each other. We're at a point in our lives where we aren't looking for permanence and we just take things as they come, so maybe that's the best we can hope for.